Can desire help you fail?

If you want to change, you have to want it. You have to have a deep-seated, burning desire to achieve the body you want. Your goals will remain unattainable unless you have that yearning that blocks out any urge or impulse you have to eat sweets, be lazy or generally unhealthy.

Long story short, if you don’t want it, you won’t get it…
Right?

Actually, some recent research is showing, in fact, that’s not the case. Not only that, but having desire can actually be detrimental to your goals.

Whaaaaat?

Shocking, I know. But it just may be true. Check it out.

Let’s say you want to lose weight. Ok, step 1, check. And you have that deep desire that is burning a hole through and through. Step 2, check. So what happens? Does that desire drive you to get up and do something about it? Does the want to do something, by itself, cause you to take action?

Believe it or not, most often the answer is NO. We tend to think of the successful people among us as the dreamers and doers, but this is not necessarily the case. Many of us are dreamers. We all have things we want to do. We all have goals we want to attain, unfortunately most of us never get from the “dreams” stage into the “goals” stage. But think about it. Walk into a fast food restaurant. Go ahead, I give you permission to, just for this little experiment. Take a look around. I guarantee you that the employees there all have dreams. Some may dream of getting off work to go home and relax. Some may dream of being rappers and being famous. Some may even dream of going to school, getting an education, and making more of themselves. However, the percentage of the employees who are actually taking the steps to set goals and achieve them is a small one, I’m sure.

It is apparent to me that we are all, in some way, shape or form, dreamers. We all have desires. So if all it takes to succeed is a strong desire, then we should be a civilization of all successful mofos, right? Wait…we’re not? Well, what’s going on? Why are we all not succeeding, since we’re all dreamers and desire-ers?

Maybe desire isn’t what you need.

Maybe desire can actually be a detriment to your success and ability to change. How so?

Let’s say you’re the typical person, with desire on the brain. But, much like the typical person, you DO NOT take action. What happens? Your desire for something wants that thing to happen, and obviously it wants it much sooner than later. But without the proper action, that thing will not happen. When that thing doesn’t happen, your desire starts to get impatient, pissed off even. You can then become disheartened, think you’re not good enough and even give up on your desire and your dreams, because I mean hey, they’re not working out, so they probably just weren’t meant to be, right?

So what gives? Why doesn’t desire work?

Because it’s the wrong driving force. Instead we need EXPECTATION.

If you desire something, you want it, but you’re likelihood to take action is minimal. Not to say impossible, but just not likely.
However, if you EXPECT that something to happen, you are FAR more likely to do something about it.

I’ve seen it time and time again. I can see a distinct difference between the clients who DESIRE TO LOSE WEIGHT and those who EXPECT TO LOSE WEIGHT.
Those who desire it, may start a program, but that desire will eventually burn out more often than not. Those who expect it, on the other hand, are determined. They take the action they need to take and they stay consistent with it because dammit, THEY EXPECT IT.

If you want a particular birthday present and you desire it, but nobody buys it for you, you’ll think “oh well, guess nobody knows me, boo hoo.” But if you instead EXPECT that present and nobody gets it for you, you’ll think “screw this, I’m going to the store and I’m buying it for myself!!”

So going forward, ask yourself, do you desire your dreams? NO….step it up.
Do you desire your goals? NO….step it up!
Do you EXPECT YOUR GOALS TO BECOME A REALITY. Now you’re getting it. I like your style.

Expect what you want out of life and you will make it happen. Expect your dreams into goals and into reality. Expect that you’ll reach those goals, with the simple equation of Action + Time + Expecations = Success.

I expect to see you tomorrow!

Comments 4

  1. This is amazing .. light bulb .. my desire hasn’t been enough since I was 13 .. and because I desired it and it didn’t happen fast enough i gave up time and time again .. but now I am starting to expect it. .its going to happen whether it wants to or not and this time I will not be defeated. .. i love this blog .. thank you

    1. Post
      Author

      You are very welcome, Amanda. As you go about your day, whether you’re working out or choosing foods, ask yourself, where do you EXPECT to be in a year?
      I think that simple question can help you push yourself harder in the workouts, and make better choices in the kitchen, regardless of what those around you are eating.

  2. I love this! As I was reading, I compared your thoughts to my own journey & realized that it was 100% true. Sometimes we overlook our expectations as a step in our journey. Great blog!!

    1. Post
      Author

      🙂 Thank you! Desire, no matter how intense, is such a small part of the equation. You’ve definitely expected to get the things you’ve worked for and received. I’m proud of you!

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